Flourishing and growing
It’s all too easy for busy mums with young children to lose sight of the bigger picture of their lives. How can you move from surviving to flourishing? Three experts presented ‘Flourish’, a course at Hillcrest Family Centre, giving a fresh perspective on being a mum and a homemaker. Clara a specialist in the SMART technique, Sally a CBT therapist and Caroline a mother and grandmother, who runs marriage workshops for the ProFamily Foundation.
A happy home needs a happy mum. The first session was led by Sally and she challenged participants to think about the cornerstones of happiness. Living a joyful life has its roots in freedom; the power to become fully yourself and to realise your full potential as a human being.
True happiness rests on four pillars; a sense of belonging, a sense of purpose and meaning, a spiritual dimension to life and making happy memories
Food and friendship
Forming friendships is an important part of wellbeing. In the session ‘The Art of Entertaining’, Clara inspired mothers to make time to invite people to their homes as a way of forming and maintaining friendships. A key message was that entertaining is about creating a welcoming atmosphere and not aiming to impress. The essential ingredient is engaging with other people and making them feel valued and special.
Clara stressed that entertaining requires some forward planning. And a demonstration of preparing some easy to make, eye-catching dishes gave everyone the confidence that she could be a great hostess
Declutter your heart
Many people are familiar with the benefits of decluttering their homes. Decluttering the heart takes that idea one step further. Sally explained to the mothers that their hearts can be full in a beautiful way, but hearts can often be overcrowded.
Each mother carries love, but this jostles for emotional space with responsibility, worry, guilt and disappointment, often all at the same time.
Decluttering the heart does not mean that we stop caring about things, it means that we care more intentionally. We can begin to do that when we choose self-compassion and allow ourselves to be imperfect. The take home message from this session was: Life is not about getting everything done, but about becoming who you were created to be.
A peaceful home
Creating a peaceful home starts with an uncluttered environment, said Caroline. Regular decluttering of wardrobes and paperwork is essential, as ‘clutter’ is often just a collection of delayed decisions that drain your mental energy and focus.
Mothers were reminded that their mood often dictates the ‘weather’ in the entire household. Rather than relying on others for happiness, true peace comes from a deep relationship with God. By carving out quiet time for prayer and scripture,Caroline explained that they can approach daily frustrations with a more patient and gentle spirit.
Creating a peaceful culture also means a deliberate digital disconnect. Parents should be encouraged to put down their phones and prioritise eye contact and physical affection over scrolling.
For Guadalupe, the Flourish course was ‘incredibly valuable’. ‘What I learned most was how to declutter my mind so that I can be a better spouse and mother.’ She appreciated the shared lunch and the opportunity to connect with other mums.
‘I also found it inspiring to reflect on the importance of order, especially placing prayer as a priority and the positive impact this has in the home.’
Creative potential
In a second session by Clara, mothers were encouraged to unleash their creativity to personalise their home. Clara focused on how flowers can transform a room. Your eyes are immediately drawn towards flowers, they lift the spirits and send a message of joy.
Mothers had a hands-on session in which Clara showed how to create balance and harmony with flowers.
A beautiful flower arrangement need not be costly. Some foliage from the garden can be combined with an inexpensive bunch of flowers from the supermarket. Clara shared a few tips like using oasis if available and either florists’ tape or cellotape wound around the stem just below the flower head to prevent drooping.
Pilgrimage of love
Catholic marriage is a ‘pilgrimage of love’ where spouses walk together,nurturing their unique relationship to ‘become who God made them to be’. In the final session Caroline focused on the key aspects of the pilgrimage or journey of marriage; praying together, the sacramental grace which comes with marriage and serving others outside the home.
Avoiding ‘The 1% Drift’ is essential. Small, negative habits (like lateness or clutter) can gradually
pull a couple apart. Successful couples counter this by consciously choosing appreciation and gratitude over criticism. Intentional communication is at the heart of a happy marriage. Building fidelity means that husband and wife both make the effort to speak affectionately and listen deeply, preventing the isolation that occurs when partners focus only on their own needs.
Above all, Flourish brought women together, to share ideas and give each other support and encouragement, which is at the heart of Tamezin Charity. tay
